Life changing /-/ Pandan Pull man bread loaf

 
 
First off I would like to thank of all your wishes in my last post. I have passed them all on to my family and they are very happy to hear them. I am over whelmed by the support I received on my last post considering I do not have the biggest fan/follower base but each on those comments comforted me in some way.


Unfortunately even with all the well wishes you have posted and tweeted, I have report some heart breaking news. I feel as if I owe it to you guys; you have become 2nd family I never knew I needed. 


 

Last Monday I updated you on my current family situation. Last 22nd I had a father, dad and male role model in my life. As of 26th of February 2014 I am without all of those things including a grip on reality and the ability to actually experience a real smile (not one of those pull a smile for the 
camera twitching smiles). 



Yes it was rapid, unexpected and shocking. I am not sure if I have to terms with what has happened. While I may have lost a father; I feel most for my mother who lost the love of her life, soul mate of 31 years. My pain cannot compare to the angst she must feel every day. While a woman’s fury may over take hell; nothing is as crushing as a widow’s grief in any alternate universe, before and after life.


 


However I guess you would think, how is going to effect this blog?
 

Well as you know I will do my best to keep on posting on here as I love to bake, improve my food photography (or photography in general) and my “journalistic” skills. However if you read the next few post and you think it has lost it “spark”, the content is subpar or there is something no quite right about it. I apologize, it may take me a few weeks to return back to my normal self. Though I have overwhelming doubt that I will be ever be the same again.



I am not sure how to finish this but here is recipe. I made bread just before this event for my dad, as this is his favourite kind of Asian comfort food. Asian style bakeries’ pull man loaf is renowned for it texture that creates via the gluten added dough, often called Tang Zhong. However I know most of you might forget to do it before hand, or are like me and sometimes do not want to dirty another pot. 




Adapted from my blueberry bread recipe, I simple left out the blueberries for a pandan paste, which is a mixture of sugar, almonds and pandan essence. Yes it is not natural but you do not get that same effect with the real leaf.

Soft and yielding, sure with your desired spread ( I used a white chocolate almond spread here); but even butter with a little bit of condense milk on it is a wonderful complement to the very home style flavours. Yes it is bread but it is just as comforting to me as a piece of chocolate; even more so that it meant so much to my dad. 





Pandan milk loaf
Adpated from Blueberry bread loaf with black sesame


400g bread flour
60g caster sugar
50g almond meal
2 tsp pandan essence
100g milk
10g milk powder
20g malted milk powder
1 egg
6g dry yeast
4g salt
50g melted butter

Combine all ingredients in a large bowl. Knead until it forms a rough ball in bowl.

Turn the dough ball out on to an oiled surface and knead until it develops a high amount of gluten(window pane test). I did this for about 30 minutes.

Shape dough in to a sphere.

Once kneaded to the right stage place sphere in a oiled bowl and cover with cling warp. Leave to rise for 2 hours.
During this period, grease your pull pan and lid with butter. Punch down dough and divide into 3 equal pieces. Roll each piece out to a 20 by 10 cm rectangle, with the shorter side facing you fold in the long sides to half way then roll the rectangle up like jelly roll. Place in pan and repeat with remaining two.

Place the lid on the pan and allow to rise until it almost touches the top about 80%. It can take a while, maybe 3 hours.
Bake for 30 minutes or until hollow when tapped.
One baked, remove from tin and transfer to a cooling rack.

24 comments:

  1. I know your grieg cannot be eased, but know that many people are thinking of you.

    All the best,

    Beanie

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    1. Thank you for your wishes Beanie. It means lot to me, especially since my mum reads this too.

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  2. I am so sorry to hear of your lose. I know there are no words to ease your pain just know there are others who are wishing you and your mom the very best.

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    1. Thanks T.R. I am more comforted by your kind words than anything right now.

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  3. Belinda, I am so, so sorry to hear about your loss. You and your family are in my prayers. Hugs.

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    1. You are too sweet Stephanie. Thanks for the support.

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  4. Hello, Belinda. I love your photographs .... you are a very talented photographer! I've visited your lovely blog before but I think this is my first time leaving a comment. I'm so sorry to read about your very sad news and even though we don't know each other I wish you and your family all the very best during these next weeks and months.

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    1. Thank you commenting for the first time. We might not know each other well but your wishes are just as good as ones from my closest friends.

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  5. Hi there, I'm a first time visitor, but I now have you bookmarked. I am so, so sorry about your loss -- your writing is beautiful, and your parents sound like they were loving and doting to you and to one another. I hope you and your mother will find peace again soon, even if it is in small moments of enjoying homemade pandan bread. Much love to you and your loved ones.

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    1. Thank you for your lovely comment! I am so flatter you love my writing and website; it means alot to me. Your words are very kind and I will pass this on to my mother.

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  6. So sorry to hear about your dad Belinda.

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  7. Loosing some one we love is always such a heart wrenching experience and it feels like we will never recover. I think perhaps we always remain changed, but in doing so we carry that person with us always. I am sorry you've lost your Dad and your mother has lost her life companion.. I know that one day you will be able to remember with smiles instead of sadness.
    Lisa xx

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    1. I can only take it one day at time. I know it will not always be easy but we will get there. It help when I know so many strangers even over the Internet care.

      Thank you Lisa

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  8. Your father wanted the best for you -- even if you disagreed over matter trivial or important, even if he never told you how much he loved you (but I hope he did) or how deeply proud he was (even if he might have worried that your future would not be secure). With time, you'll be able to remember good and bad without being overwhelmed, but I am not sure the feelings of loss ever go away -- you just get better at remembering his life as well as his death.

    My sincerest condolences, and I hope you and your mother find comfort in one another, and from your friends and family.


    On the bread: that is the most amazing shade of green. It scares me a bit, but it's certainly impressive.

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    1. Yes it really does make you see thing clearly in life when things like this happen. The emotions are very raw right now but I know you are right.

      Thank you Ken for your kind words

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  9. Omg...I'm so very sorry for your loss of your father. I'm shocked. My deepest condolence to you and your family. I'm glad you made this beautiful pandan bread for your dad before he passed away. He must have enjoyed it very much. It's amazing bread and it's so sad at the same time. :( Please take good care of yourself, Belinda...

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    1. Thank you Nami for your condolences. I am trying very hard to get pass this

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  10. This looks so yummy!! I would love for you to come link it up at Lovely Ladies Linky! We would love to see what other deliciousness you have to share :) http://www.lifewiththecrustcutoff.com/lovely-ladies-linky-link-26/

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  11. Just a word: Wow!
    ...the second word would be: amazing!
    PS: Great idea! Congrats, Belinda!

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    1. Thank you for such a simple but meaningful comment. I am flattered!

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